Wednesday, September 2, 2015

I Am A Writer

Yes. I am.

I am also a singer. And a songwriter. A teacher. A dog trainer. A stand-up comedian (though some of my friends call me the Queen of Corny Jokes). A farmer. A breeder. A quilter. A composer. A runner. A horse-lover. A musician. An artist.

There is no end to the list of the things I am. I could go on and on. But which one of them defines me? Am I these things because of what I am doing, or have done, or will do?

No. I am these things because that is how I was created. That is who my Father made me to be. And He will use what He will of me when He wills. He defines me.

The cool thing is: I enjoy being used! By Him. Every part of me in that list at the top of the page, is a reflection of Him. When I do what I enjoy, I am simply enjoying Him! And as I enjoy Him, I glorify Him! And as I glorify Him, He uses my life to show others Who He is.

So, I am a writer. Because I enjoy writing and when I write I glorify my Father in Heaven of Whom I am a reflection. So simple. So profound. I find my heart enlightened and I vow that never again will I complain of not being able to achieve my dreams. I am a writer and I am writing. I am doing what I love to do.

The truth is, I love so many things. I love life. I love Him, because He is in all things. And He is my life.


There are times when nothing makes much sense. It's as though you are out on the battle field in WWII and the telegrams are coming through, but somewhere the morse code and the gunfire got mixed up and you have half completed and indecipherable messages. You have no real way of knowing what to prepare for or plan for... there's a word for it: Limbo.


Unless you know the One Who is Omniscient. All knowing.

Not that He is going to tell you everything. He's not your glorified GPS or Wikipedia.

The fact, or the Truth, that He knows everything simply means that you can rest assured that He will make all things work together for your good. Not your comfort, mind you, but your good. As far as you are walking in the purposes He called you to. And the main one being: to love Him.

If this is the case, there is a different word for it: Faith.

People have attached all sorts of meanings to the word faith, mostly inadvertently. The way we lable something usually has more to do with what our innermost being would like it to be than what we cognitively decide it should be.

Faith is NOT:

  • positive thinking
  • a shopping list
  • a Christmas wishlist
  • a means to an end
  • a belief system
  • a crutch
Faith IS:
  • Believing that God IS and that He rewards those who diligently seek HIM.
  • all about Him.
So here I am. Faced with imminent success. Dreams starting to come true all over the place and scared out of my wits, not knowing when to strike... is the iron hot?? Really hot enough?? Will this bend or break? Is this risk as calculated as I think it is? What if....?

I have to believe that I heard His voice. I have to believe that He will reward me. I have to believe that it is all about Him and He will follow through and He will be glorified in and through it all!

I just have to believe.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Fish Out Of Water


There is a fish. Called a catfish. A walking catfish. A weird name, you might say. Well, yeah. Is it a cat or a fish? And walking…??

Truth be told, named a CATfish simply because of the long, whisker-like barbs protruding from its jaws, this fish is indeed a fish and as such requires an aquatic environment to survive, but it is capable, when the necessity arises, of breathing out of water and travelling across land to get to a place of lower population density… but wait, let me leave it to Wikipedia to give you the precise details:

“The walking catfish, Clarias batrachus, is a species of freshwater air-breathing catfish found primarily in Southeast Asia, so named for its ability to “walk” across dry land, to find food or suitable environments. While it does not truly walk as most bipeds or quadrupeds do, it has the ability to use its pectoral fins to keep it upright as it makes a sort of wiggling motion with snakelike movements. It can survive using this form of locomotion as long as it stays moist. This fish normally lives in slow moving and often stagnant waters in ponds, swamps, streams and rivers (Mekong and Chao Phraya basins), flooded rice paddies or temporary pools which may dry up. When this happens, its “walking” skill comes in handy for moving to other sources of water.”

Quite a scenario. Here we have this “fish out of water”, but surviving very well, thank you…  for a time… and actually its time of relative discomfort is beneficial to its survival, allowing it to move to environments more favourable for survival! Something like: “That which does not kill you outright serves to make you stronger”!

How often have you felt like a catfish? Totally out of water. Not living out your purpose yet struggling in every way possible to get somewhere… and almost giving up until suddenly you see a pool ahead! New possibilities! Renewed dreams! New opportunities! New perceptions…?

I have come to believe that sometimes we need to go through these times, to be a fish out of water, so that we can reach the full potential that God wants us to reach. What appears to some to be a huge mistake, is often really a vehicle to learn skills and hone abilities that would not have been possible in our “natural” environment…

They are not easy times, and mostly we do not wish them on anyone else, yet we are grateful for their being, because without them we would stay in that stagnant pool where we were before we started “walking” and end up dead when it dries out and get’s too small for us!

Not a pretty picture… even less pretty than a fish out of water, wiggling its way to more abundant waters.


Walking Catfish 2

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

In Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria…


The last few weeks I have been learning another lesson… One of being involved in your community as well as being aware of the dynamics and needs of your community. We so easily get wrapped up in our own lives and our perceived ministry that we forget to look at the bigger picture of community in which we live.

In the first week of August,  myself and fellow campus workers took lunch break at CUT Campus as an opportunity to randomly mingle with students (this is becoming a regular event now!). On Wednesdays we have prayer time at lunch time. In the heart of the Campus, in the middle of class, in the midst of hundreds of future leaders.

We spent the first week just praying for the students around us as we sat in the Amphitheatre surrounded by these future leaders watching contestants in a Carnival Culture Bash. Poetry, singing, stand-up comedy and fashion design were all on display. Every contestant being a student at CUT.

I was gripped by the passion with which the audience listened and responded to the poems, songs and jokes delivered. It was obvious that many of them stirred their hearts and there was a longing in them for acceptance, love, affirmation. This longing is so prevalent in our society, yet how often do we take time to be still enough to perceive and recognise it?

God has given me renewed fervour in my prayer time on CUT Campus. Timidity and feeling out of place has been replaced with boldness and security in knowing that this is where I have been placed to represent the Kingdom of God. Cluelessness in what to pray for has been replaced with purposeful prayer focussing on specific needs.

This last point was greatly improved on Monday when I spent half of lunchtime talking to a candidate of one of the two political parties running for office in the SRC elections which will be happening on CUT next week Wednesday. The SRC is dealing with issues such as insufficient staffing at the clinic, allegations of favouritism and denial of opportunities based on race at two of the faculties and insufficient availability of computers in the library for some students whose courses are time-intensive, allowing them little time to visit the library for research and projects.

These are all things pressing on the hearts of this young man standing for office and it was such an encouragement to me to know that there are leaders being raised up who believe in creating a better environment for study, facilitating academic excellence, in the interests of the students and ultimately the community. This is the same thing that we as Campus Ministers want to see. We will attack these problems on the front of prayer and changing people’s hearts with the gospel of Christ. Young leaders like my candidate friend will change it by taking the responsibility of being in office in a governing body. With authority comes responsibility and it was so refreshing to see that combination in this young man so full of passion and wisdom.

Please pray for the elections on Wednesday 24 August 2011, that God’s will shall prevail and that those who come into office will recognise the need for a change of hearts before there can be a change of circumstances. Please pray that the change of heart will begin with the leaders elected. May we see leaders like the Apostle Paul rise up in our Campuses and communities.

Shalom! ;o)

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Tuesday, August 16, 2011



What an amazing opportunity and privilege! God had a real appointment with me at this year’s campus harvest #CH2011TOURSA . This makes me certain that He had a special appointment with many more, in fact, I believe ALL of us there!! Just listening to the feedback from around the table this morning when the team of Every Nation Bloemfontein met for our weekly administrative and heart meeting, convinces me even more!

God is so into changing us and using us. He deposited into my spirit a huge awareness of the need for me to step up. Step up discipline, step up faith, step up developing talents and skills. He used each of those speakers there to equip and empower me in the next step on my journey missioning with Him.

This morning’s heart session was so in line with all that God has been bringing to my attention. What encourages me so much is that I believe He is doing the same (to a greater or lesser extent) with every person who attended the Campus Harvest 2011 Tour.

The bonus to all this was amazing worship as well as meeting old friends and making new friends! In being able to share and teach as well as receive and learn! Now to take it further… Let’s Go!! No more excuses: Just Do It!!

I thank God for helping me settle my calling, using Campus Harvest as a vessel. The events of the past four weeks or so left me reeling and wondering if I had made a mistake. I lay before God, on the operation table and waited. He told me: Continue on the path I have laid before you. Wait on me.

Nobody said it would be easy, but they did say there would be “a great crowd of witnesses”. People with testimonies to encourage and support me. Not to help me out, but to help me grow into a campus worker who Goes to the Throne, to the Campus, to the Community and to the Nations!! Myself and others received confirmation, new purpose and renewed passion. This is what family is about!!

May this be the legacy of every attendant of Campus Harvest!!

Let’s Go!

campus harvest 2011

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Live By Faith, Not By Sight

Winter Tree

There is a bush in my garden. Some people call it a Chinese Lantern bush, some people call it a… oh, dear, now I’ve forgotten! Anyway, the point is, I have had this bush in my garden for two years now, and each winter I have tried various measures to keep it from being ravaged by frost, but each winter my attempts have failed dismally…

I saw it as a failure on my part the first winter and fully expected to have no more Chinese Lantern bush (or whatever it’s called) in my garden. But lo and behold, it grew again, out of the ground! My initial excitement regarding this miracle resurrection, was slightly dampened at the reflection that the plant would only grow to the same height as last year and probably be mown down by the infamous Free(ze) State frost again.

Again I was pleasantly surprised… Not only did the bush produce beautiful yellow and pink flowers, it grew to twice the size it had been the previous year! Wow! What a bonus! I resolved right away to take better care of the bush so that it could grow bigger again next year! (As if I had had anything to do with the exponential growth that year…?)

Alack, alas! Despite my frantic (and fairly extreme) efforts, the poor bush succumbed once again to the ravages of Jack Frost. Reduced once again to spongy, lifeless twigs sticking out at all angles…

After the initial disappointment had settled, my brain began ticking over… Hmmmmm…. There was a pattern starting to emerge here… What if….

Suddenly, possibilities began to form in my brain… I remembered seeing huge bushes of this kind all over Bloemfontein and wondered how they had survived the sub-zero’s when mine had not? What had the gardeners done to preserve them? HAD the gardeners done anything to preserve them or was there something else going on here?

Was I paying too much attention to what was happening above ground, and ignoring what was happening below ground? Could it be that even though the branches were all killed off by the frost, the roots were still living, growing, thriving out of sight below the soil? That second year’s exponential growth had to have an explanation… Could that be it?

Now I wait with bated breath for Summer. And not only because I am sick and tired of having frozen toes and getting up when it’s still dark! I want to see how big my Chinese Lantern bush is going to grow this year! What are those roots going to push out in the new season? Instead of a sense of gloomy predictability, there is a breathless expectancy!

Then God tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that my life is a lot like that bush too. There are times when I feel like there is no growth, no fruit, like I’m going backwards two steps for every step I take forward. I look around at the evergreens in their perennial splendour and feel naked and ashamed. But I forget to look down into the depths of my soul, into where nobody but God can see.

Down there God is growing something, the foundation, the source of the growth and fruit of the next season. He is establishing those roots deeper into His love, grace and power. The cost? Each Winter EVERYTHING above ground has to die. The reward? Greater growth, and more flowers in the following Summer!

And so the process continues until there is a 3m x 2m bush ablaze with colour, rich with foliage, delighting all who pass by and rest in its shade. But not because I protected its branches during Winter. Because God grew its roots during Winter.

The righteous shall live by faith, not by sight.

Shalom! ;o)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Mountain Climbing Faith

This past Sunday one of our pastors, Obakeng Moloko, spoke about "Mountain Climbing Faith" as opposed to "mountain moving faith". It was very thought-provoking for me and I have since had a few thoughts on the subject. God gave me a few more illustrations...

First of all, I thought back to a powerpoint I received via e-mail which described the principle P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens). In the story, a man is told by God to push against a huge rock (aka, pray against a mountain). The rock never moves by the man's pushing, but he develops (spiritual) muscle in the process. Then God moves the rock.

Now I think of our "mountain moving faith". Here we are, praying (pushing) against this mountain to make it move but the thing won't budge. We become frustrated and ask God what's up? Why won't the mountain move?? And this is where the pictures of the two stories combine: God tells us that we, through our prayer, have built spiritual muscle and stamina that will take us OVER the mountain. We need to start climbing!

When you climb a mountain you are by no means denying the existence of the mountain. If there were no mountain, you would not be climbing! But the act of climbing the mountain testifies that you consider the mountain conquerable and are in fact in the process of conquering it!

Psalm 18:29  For by You I can run through a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.

So often when we come to obstacles in our path we want to just pray and wait for God to take the mountain away, when He desires for us to trust in Him enough that we will begin moving forward, whether the mountain has moved or not. That absolute trust says: "Lord, I am moving forward in faith, either the mountain is going to move or You are going to give me the strength and endurance to climb it!"

2 Peter 1:5  For this very reason, adding your diligence [to the divine promises], employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue (excellence, resolution, Christian energy), and in [exercising] virtue [develop] knowledge (intelligence), 6  And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety), 7  And in [exercising] godliness [develop] brotherly affection, and in [exercising] brotherly affection [develop] Christian love. 8  For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep [you] from being idle or unfruitful unto the [full personal] knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

It is true that there are times when things will come "easy" and mountains will move, miracles will happen to reveal God's power and glory. It is equally true that there are times when the glory and faithfulness of God is revealed in the unwavering, steadfast, enduring faith of His disciples.

Psalm 18:25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful;
to those with integrity you show integrity.

Welcome to God's Gym! When you are good and fit, we're gonna go do some mountain climbing...!!

Shalom!! ;o)
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